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Today i have explode...i had to go to the doctor with a stress-crisis...terrible, the worst experience in my live, i was desorientated, with 120 heart rate...i was 1:30 hour in the clinic sitting on a bed with my legs up, i was so frightened to do anything, i didn´t want to walk, go outside, go home...i was frightened about everything...terrific...i have to be more calmed, i´m so nervous, and i live seeing my watch everytime, running all day...maybe what happenned today was an advice...

well, he gave me some more lorazepam, i have to take 3g a day, but the best thing i can do is get relax...

I wakeup at 8, take my daughter with my mum at 8.30, take my wife to her job at 9, go to my job at 9.30, come home at 4.30, then i do the clean of my house etc.., go work again at 7.30 and finally go home at 12.00...This is a typica august day for me, and in my work i´m cooking alone, for about 50-60 persons every day, and of course wash the dishes, clean the kitchen, etc...
and i drive 100 km a day...

Lorazepam could not be enough, i always feel so strong, but since a little bit of days i´m going down...

Yes, yes, in september here are much less people, but the way we need is keep these level of work, because od the money, but in september i have to make some changes, specially with my timetable, i live 20 km far from my work and i´m only want to make only one trip a day, if not, i will look for a work in my town...

i miss when i worked with my sister in the pub...less money, but more free time and i live 50 metres far from it...ambitions...fuckin ambitions...

does anybody of you there in england need a kind of chef or a maitre??

Mr flying, you rules...you are totally right, i know i could looks like an idiot, but you won´t ever know how can these fact make me feel alive again...

thank you

:shock: You are really very bussy, you should take a rest, because otherwise you can't cope with it anymore. I hope the next days will be better for you and that you will feel good again. Just listen to your body once in a while and calm down a bit when your body gives you a signal to do that. :wink:

expensive car accident last friday & unrepairable dispute with a possible girlfriend. now its all over

Quoted from ""Maddy""

Both my job interviews got me a bad response...
As a result : no home, no job and no idea of WHERE the f##k to GO !!!!

Working on going to Germany right now, enough of that country that is France

Nothing?? :shock:
It's really fucking bad I really hope you can get something in Germany then, a place to live and a good job and so.

David, be very carefull with the Lorazepam, I know it helps at the moment, but it's also addictive :?
( I took a lot of things in the past that ended with "pam"...) and in the end it helps nothing, you have to work it out by yourself :wink:

Take care of yourself!

@Spock: car accident, not good, are you alright?

@Maddy: Don't take me wrong, but what are you going to do in Germany?
I hope you find something there though... :wink:

Quoted from ""Maddy""

Both my job interviews got me a bad response...
As a result : no home, no job and no idea of WHERE the f##k to GO !!!!

That's a very big problem you have ......... I hope all goes well in the end, but it will be hard times for you in the near future.....

Yes :wink:
Good luck, hope God's on your side from now on :wink:

Maddy,you know they say,"Change of location-->Change of luck"

It sounds better in the original language,but I hope Germany would do you good.

Well, it really wasn't last week, but its just consists.

I finally got up the nerves to ask out this girl. I knew she was alot different from me, her being a black girl from New York and me being a White man from Florida, but I still did it. She said yet. She surprised me by asking if I wanted to go to the mall before we went on the date I had planned the day after. I pretty much had two great days with her. I pretty much fell inloved. Now, once those days was up, I wanted to hang around her some more, but she was always with her friends. Finally I told her I wanted to go out with her more. She did tell me she did have a boyfriend before hand, but was so impressed by the way I asked her out(which was by poem), she told him she was going to give me a try. Well, she said after our dates that she was going to be faithful to him. Made me love her more, but I respected her wishes. She trusted me enough to tell me that she was pregnant too, which I had heard and had already resolved I didn't care. Would have raised and loved the child as my own too. Still... Well, its been a bit now and although we are on friendly terms, Im still in a turmoil. I will be happy one moment, and then I will be hit with such a depression that I do stupid and dangerous things, even hurting myself. I've even flared my anger and things that I usually keep quiet about. Im tired of being lonely and having my heart shattered.

So hard, no more people are strong enough to do what you do...you really love her, it´s a question of heart and brain, your brain maybe tells you have to be far from her, but your heart tells you have to stay...take your time to avoid choose the wrong decision...don´t feel hurt, live is these...

Quoted from ""davidginzospain""

So hard, no more people are strong enough to do what you do...you really love her, it´s a question of heart and brain, your brain maybe tells you have to be far from her, but your heart tells you have to stay...take your time to avoid choose the wrong decision...don´t feel hurt, live is these...

That's indeed true.
Sad as it can be, that's reality, and the life can be cruel sometimes.

But I will say it's better being friends than enemies, after all, hard as it can be :wink:

Quoted from ""Traxx""

Quoted from ""davidginzospain""

So hard, no more people are strong enough to do what you do...you really love her, it´s a question of heart and brain, your brain maybe tells you have to be far from her, but your heart tells you have to stay...take your time to avoid choose the wrong decision...don´t feel hurt, live is these...

That's indeed true.
Sad as it can be, that's reality, and the life can be cruel sometimes.

But I will say it's better being friends than enemies, after all, hard as it can be :wink:

Agree.

one of my best friends is a girl who i was in love in the past for a lot of years, she knows it and she didn´t like me, no problem, i wasn´t ungry, she wasn´t too...we are good friends.